🧠 You Don't Lack Confidence. You’re Just Battling Your Brain

A QUICK TIP TO HELP YOU SPEAK UP WITH CONVICTION

Instead of saying “I should,” say “I choose to” or “I’m not choosing to.”

🧠 Why it works: It puts you back in charge of your choices, without guilt.

👉 Use it: When pressure feels like it’s coming from within, rather than being external

🔍 DEEP DIVE

🧠 You Don’t Lack Confidence. You’re Just Battling Your Brain

You speak clearly. You’re thoughtful. You’re prepared.

But when the moment comes to take up space—to challenge, decide, or speak with confidence—you find yourself holding back.

You hesitate. Question yourself. Overthink what you just said.

And then you say to yourself, “I’m just not a very confident person.”

Let’s reset that.

💡 What’s Really Going On

You’re not lacking confidence. You’re navigating a nervous system that’s wired for safety, not visibility.

Your brain is constantly scanning for risk.

And risk isn’t just physical—it’s social.

Interrupting someone, pushing back, taking a bold stance?

To your brain, that can feel like a threat.

So, it does what it’s designed to do:

It slows you down. Shrinks your voice. Keeps you “safe.”

💡 Insight: You don’t need to get better at confidence.

You need to get better at recognising when your brain is trying to protect you, so that you can respond in a considered way, rather than a reactive one.

🔹 Spot the Safety Response

Confidence wobbles when your nervous system senses risk. But often, it’s subtle.

Here’s how it can show up:

• You soften your language to avoid sounding too direct

• You replay conversations, scanning for mistakes

• You over-prepare but still feel underqualified

• You wait for reassurance before speaking up

💡 Action: Start noticing these patterns, not as flaws but as your brain’s way of saying, “I don’t feel safe right now.”

This simple reframe gives you space to respond instead of spiralling.

🔹 Regulate Before You Speak

Your body tells your brain what’s true.

If you speak from a triggered state—rushed breath, tense shoulders, spinning thoughts—your brain thinks, “this must be risky”.

And when it thinks you're at risk, it makes you play small—pause, soften, hesitate—so you don't get hurt.

💡 Tip: Use this 3-step reset before high-pressure moments:

1. Exhale fully – it signals safety faster than inhaling

2. Drop your awareness to your feet – it grounds your attention

3. Clarify your intention – remind yourself: “I’m not here to prove myself. I’m here to add value.”

It doesn’t take long, but it shifts everything.

🔹 Update Your Evidence

Your brain remembers failures for far longer than wins.

That’s not a flaw. It’s a built-in survival reaction.

But it means you need to work harder to feed it new, accurate data.

💡 Action: At the end of each week, write down:

• One moment you held your ground

• One thing you contributed that created clarity

• One piece of feedback that affirms your impact

This isn’t boasting. It’s about reminding your brain what’s actually true.

🔹 Final Thought

You’re not bad at confidence.

You’re not underqualified.

You’re not fragile.

You’re working with a brain that’s designed to protect you from standing out, especially when you’re already under pressure to prove yourself.

Confidence isn’t about “getting tougher.”

It’s about feeling safe enough to let your voice come through.