🗣 Why You Hesitate Right Before Saying the Thing That Matters

A QUICK TIP FOR BEING TAKEN SERIOUSLY

Say less than you think you need to.

Why it works: Brevity signals confidence.

Use it: In meetings.

🔍 DEEP DIVE

🗣 Why You Hesitate Right Before Saying the Thing That Matters

You’re in a meeting or conversation.

The discussion moves on.

And you realise — this is the moment you should speak.

You know what you want to say.
You know it’s relevant.
You can feel it sitting there.

And then you hesitate.

Not for long.
Just long enough to miss the moment.

What hesitation looks like

Hesitation isn’t dramatic.

It shows up quietly, as small delays:

• You wait to see if someone else will say it

• You tell yourself it might not be the right time

• You start forming the explanation instead of stating the point

• You decide to “come back to it later”

And it’s rarely because you don’t know what to say.

The common misunderstanding

Most people assume hesitation is about confidence.

It isn’t.

Capable, experienced people hesitate all the time, especially in senior environments.

The real issue is usually that you’re trying to decide how the point will land before you decide whether it needs to be said.

So instead of acting on judgment, you start managing outcomes in your head.

That split second of internal negotiation is where hesitation lives.

What’s really happening in that moment

Right before you speak, a few questions tend to collide:

• Is this worth raising?

• How will this be received?

• Will this create friction?

• Should I explain it fully?

None of these are unreasonable.
But when they all arrive at once, they stall you.

Senior leaders don’t answer all of these questions before they speak.

They answer one.

The question that matters most

The most useful question in that moment isn’t:

“How should I say this?”

It’s:

“Does this point need to be in the room?”

That’s a judgment call, not a communication one.

If the answer is yes, hesitation usually isn’t helping you.

It’s just delaying while the moment passes.

Why hesitation costs more than you think

When you hesitate repeatedly:

• Others fill the space

• The conversation settles without your input

• Your point becomes harder to introduce later

• You start adjusting to decisions rather than shaping them

Over time, this changes how your contribution is read.

Not because you’re silent, but because you’re selective in the wrong moments.

What helps instead

This isn’t about speaking more.
It’s about deciding sooner.

A few things that make a real difference:

Decide your point before the moment arrives

• You don’t need the wording. Just the position.

Say the point before the explanation

• You can always add context. You can’t always reclaim the moment.

Stop waiting for certainty

• Most useful contributions are partial, not complete.

Let some discomfort exist

• Speaking up often creates a pause. That pause isn’t a problem.

How hesitation usually disappears

Hesitation often disappears when you stop treating speaking up as a performance.

You’re not delivering a perfect contribution.

You’re putting the point into the room.

Others can build on it, challenge it, or ignore it.

But it’s there.

Try it

After your next meeting, ask yourself:

• Where did I hesitate?

• What was the point I didn’t quite say?

• Did the conversation need that input?

You don’t need to fix it every time.

Just notice the pattern.

A final thought

Hesitation isn’t a flaw.

It’s often a sign that you care about quality and impact.

But when it becomes automatic, it costs you influence quietly.

The goal isn’t to speak faster.

It’s to decide sooner whether the point matters, and trust that judgment enough to say it.