🟠 Why You Go Red (and How to Stop It)

A QUICK TIP TO STAY CALM UNDER PRESSURE

When you're on the edge of overwhelm, ask: “What can wait?”

🧠 Why it works: It lightens the pressure by removing the unnecessary.

👉 Use it: When your to-do list feels urgent, but not all of it is.

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🔍 DEEP DIVE

🟠 Why You Go Red (and How to Stop It)

You’re in a meeting, you make a point, someone challenges you — and suddenly you feel your face go red.

You try to keep your voice steady, but all you can think is, can everyone see this?

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.

I hear this from clients and women in my network all the time, it’s a common reaction to pressure.

Let’s look at why it happens, and what you can do about it.

What’s Actually Happening

Blushing or “going red” is a completely normal physiological response.

When you feel exposed, under scrutiny, or worried about being judged, your body activates its stress response.

Part of your nervous system releases adrenaline, your body’s way of getting ready for fight or flight.

Your blood vessels expand to help you move and react quickly, which, in your face, looks like flushing. It’s a survival mechanism, not a personal weakness.

The problem is, it often shows up at the worst moment — right when you’re trying to project calm authority.

You can’t stop the initial flush (it happens too fast), but you can help your body settle more quickly and regain your composure.

The Emotional Intelligence Link

Emotional intelligence doesn’t mean never reacting. It means recognising what’s happening inside you and responding in a way that helps you.

Going red isn’t a failure of confidence; it’s a sign your body thinks you’re under threat.

Once you see it for what it is, you can stop being ashamed of it and start being aware of it. Awareness creates choice.

When you notice the physical signs — heat, heartbeat, tension — and quietly name them, you begin to regulate your emotions instead of being run by them.

Confidence isn’t the absence of emotion. It’s knowing how to stay steady while emotion happens.

The Practical Reset (in the moment)

When you feel yourself blush, here’s how to bring yourself back to calm — based on solid evidence, not quick fixes:

1. Label it quietly

“I’m going red — that’s my stress response.”

Naming what’s happening reduces the brain’s threat response. UCLA studies show this helps the amygdala (the brain’s alarm system) calm down.

2. Exhale longer than you inhale

A simple 4–6 breath pattern signals safety to your nervous system and helps your body slow the adrenaline surge.

3. Ground yourself physically

Press your feet into the floor, release your jaw, and roll your shoulders once.

This breaks the muscular tension that keeps blood rushing upward.

4. Shift focus outward

Look at a document, take a sip of water, ask a question, or notice someone else’s expression.

Moving your attention off your own body stops the self-monitoring loop that keeps the redness alive.

5. Use calm self-talk

Quietly saying, “This is just my body reacting,” helps you refocus on what you’re there to do, not how you feel in the moment.

You can’t always stop going red, but you can control what comes next: your composure, your words, your presence.

The Long Game (training calm)

With time, you can train your body to react less often — and recover faster when it does.

• De-shame it. Talk about it with a trusted peer or coach. Secrecy amplifies stress; openness diffuses it.

• Practice visibility in small doses. Speak early in meetings or lead short updates. Each time you face low-stakes exposure, your nervous system learns safety.

• Reframe the meaning. Replace “I’m embarrassed” with “My body’s reacting because this matters.” That single shift moves you from judgment to curiosity.

• Lower your baseline stress. Enough sleep, daily movement, and firm boundaries reduce overall cortisol, meaning smaller spikes when you’re under pressure.

Over time, these practices teach your body that being seen isn’t dangerous, it’s simply part of leadership.

Closing Thoughts

Next time you feel yourself going red, don’t fight it.

Name it, breathe out slowly, ground yourself, and stay engaged.

Later, take a moment to reflect on what triggered it.

💡 Remember: your body’s not betraying you. It’s trying to help you handle something that matters.

The more you understand it, the faster you regain your calm and the more confident you’ll appear.