🔥 When Feedback Hurts: 3 Steps to Bounce Back Fast

A QUICK TIP TO STAY CALM UNDER PRESSURE

Ask: “What does my gut say?” before listing pros and cons.

🧠 Why it works: Instinct often cuts through overwhelm.

👉 Use it: When you’re unsure what decision to make.

🔍 DEEP DIVE

🔥 When Feedback Hurts: 3 Steps to Bounce Back Fast

You get a piece of feedback that hits hard.

A passing comment.

An observation in a performance review.

A suggestion in a 1:1 that lands a little too sharply.

You stay professional on the outside, but inside there’s a jolt.

Your chest tightens. Your mind speeds up. Your confidence dips for the rest of the day.

The real problem isn’t the feedback itself. It’s what your brain does with it in the first few seconds.

Let’s look at why it happens and what you can do to pull yourself out of it.

Why It Happens

Your brain reacts to criticism faster than you can.

Negativity bias kicks in, and one negative comment outweighs ten positive ones.

You immediately start doubting yourself: What does this mean about me? Am I still capable? Do they think I’m not good enough?

You lose perspective quickly and forget what you’re good at.

And the sting lasts far longer than the feedback deserves.

3 Steps to Bounce Back Fast

1. Take the hit without reacting

The first few seconds after feedback are where most of the damage happens.

Not from the feedback itself, but from your instinctive reaction to it.

You don’t need to respond immediately.

You just need a small pause so the sting doesn’t turn into a spiral.

Try saying: “Thank you for sharing this. Let me think about it for a moment.”

It buys you space and steadies the moment.

👉 Tip: Lengthen your exhale by a couple of seconds to help your body settle so your head can catch up.

2. Get back to what was actually said

Your brain will automatically add extra meaning — usually the harshest version of the story.

To regain perspective, strip the feedback back to basics.

Ask yourself:

• “What did they actually say?”

• “What am I adding on top?”

• “What’s the main point they’re making?”

When you separate the feedback from the story, everything gets lighter.

👉 Tip: Write down the exact sentence you heard.

It’s almost always smaller and more practical than what your mind turned it into.

3. Choose one small thing to do next

Once you’ve got the sting under control and you’re clear on what was actually said, the quickest way to reset your confidence is to move forward — even slightly.

You don’t need a full plan.

You don’t need to fix everything.

You just need one small, practical next step.

Ask yourself:

• “What’s one thing I can do with this?”

• “What would a small improvement look like?”

• “What would help me feel clear going forward?”

Your next step could be:

• Asking for a specific example

• Adjusting one small behaviour

• Clarifying what “good” looks like next time

• Saying what you’ll focus on, so you’re not guessing

• Letting go of the parts that aren’t actually about you

Then finish with a steady, simple line like:

• “Thanks — that’s helpful.”

• “Got it. I’ll take that on board.”

• “Here’s what I’ll focus on next.”

👉 Tip: Taking action restores confidence faster than overthinking ever will.

It gets you out of the sting and moving forward.

Final Thoughts

Feedback will always sting at first — your brain is wired that way.

But the sting doesn’t have to stay.

When you pause, get clear on what was actually said, and take one small next step, you get back to steady quickly.

You keep your confidence intact.

And you turn feedback into something useful, without letting it define you.

This Week’s Challenge:

Notice one moment where feedback lands sharply.

Pause. Strip it back. Choose one small step forward.