🟠 What to Say When You Don’t Want to Back Down

A QUICK TIP FOR CLEAR THINKING

Before you speak, write down the one point that actually matters, and ignore the rest.

Why it works: It stops you responding to noise instead of the real issue.

Use it: When conversations start to lose focus.

🔍 DEEP DIVE

🟠 What to Say When You Don’t Want to Back Down

You’re in a meeting or a conversation and someone pushes back on your view.

You don’t agree — and you don’t want to give in — but you also don’t want to turn it into a standoff.

So you start to soften what you’re saying.

You explain too much and try to sound reasonable.

Somehow, by the end of the conversation, you’re nodding along to something you don’t support, and wondering how that happened.

This isn’t about being stubborn or “winning.”

It’s about noticing how easy it is to soften what you’re saying without meaning to.

Why people give in (before they realise it)

Most people don’t back away because their position is weak.

They do it because of how they respond to disagreement.

Common reactions:

• They soften their position too early

• They rush to justify instead of stating their view

• They try to be reasonable, and end up unclear

• They get thrown off by volume, confidence or bluntness

This usually happens before the real disagreement even starts.

The principle to hold onto

When you don’t want to back down, your job is not to persuade straight away.

Your job is to hold your position clearly.

Clarity first. Persuasion later.

If you can do that, the conversation stays productive.

If you can’t, you end up negotiating with yourself.

What not to say

These phrases feel polite, but they quietly weaken your position:

• “I might be wrong, but…”

You’ve just told everyone how seriously to take what comes next.

• “This is just my opinion…”

It might be your opinion — but if it matters, say it like it matters.

• “I see your point, but…”

This often signals you’re about to retreat, not disagree.

You don’t need to sound forceful.

You do need to stop undermining yourself.

What to say instead

Here are three simple ways to hold your ground without turning it into an argument.

1. State your position plainly

No build-up. No defence.

“I don’t agree with that approach.”

That’s it. Let it land.

You can explain later, once your position is clear.

2. Acknowledge disagreement without conceding

“I see it differently.”

This does two things at once:

• It recognises the other person

• It keeps your position intact

You’re not dismissing them, and you’re not giving way.

3. Buy time without backing down

Sometimes you don’t want to argue in the moment, but you also don’t want to agree.

“I’m not convinced yet.”

or

“I’d want to think that through before deciding.”

Both keep you in the conversation without committing you to a position you don’t hold.

How you say it matters

Holding your ground is as much about how you speak as what you say.

A few things that help:

• Slow down. Rushing sounds defensive.

• Lower your volume slightly. Calm reads as confident.

• Stop talking sooner than feels comfortable. Silence does some of the work for you.

Authority often comes from saying less, not more.

A final thought

Backing down isn’t always wrong, sometimes it’s the right call.

But backing down automatically, before you’ve been clear, is what costs people credibility over time.

You don’t need to dominate the conversation.
You don’t need the perfect words.
You just need to state your position cleanly and let it stand.

That’s a skill. And like any skill, it improves with practice.