When someone reframes your idea as theirs mid-meeting, say: "Yes, building on what I said a minute ago..."

Why it works: It reclaims the point without turning it into a confrontation.

Use it: When your idea gets credited to someone else in the room.

You could be waiting a long time for your boss to say, "Well done."

The campaign landed.

The numbers came in higher than anyone predicted.

Your team worked flat out, and it showed.

You go into your one-to-one feeling good.

You're expecting at least a nod to what you pulled off.

Instead, you get: "A few things I'd change for next time."

No acknowledgement.

No "that went brilliantly."

Straight to what could have been better.

And suddenly the whole thing feels smaller.

You leave wondering if it went as well as you thought.

It did.

The results haven't changed. Only how you feel about them has.

Two things are going on here. One is in your head. One is in theirs.

Start with yours.

Your brain gives far more weight to criticism than to anything positive.

This is negativity bias (your brain's habit of paying more attention to threats and bad news than to good news).

It kept your ancestors alive. It's less useful in a one-to-one.

And silence doesn't register as praise. It registers as nothing.

So you're left with one critical comment and nothing to balance it.

That one comment starts to feel like the whole verdict.

Now theirs.

If your boss is a perfectionist, they look straight for the gap.

It's how they see everything, including their own work.

What went well is expected, so it barely registers.

What could be better is where their attention goes.

That isn't a judgement about you, it’s how they’re wired.

Here's where I'm going to be blunt.

If you need their praise to feel you did well, you've handed them control of your confidence.

I see this a lot with the senior leaders I work with. Brilliant results, and they only feel good about them once their boss has acknowledged them.

That's a lot of power to give someone who doesn't even know they have it.

And it's not a fair ask of them either.

They’re not going to change how they see the world because you need a pat on the back.

But you can change what you do next.

You can steer the conversation before the feedback starts.

"Before we get into changes, what worked well?"

Or: "Can we start with what landed well, then look at what we'd change?"

A perfectionist boss will usually answer that happily.

It just didn't occur to them to start there.

You don't need permission to name a success.

"I'm really pleased with how that landed."

Or: "The results were strong. I'm proud of what the team did."

Then invite the feedback yourself.

"What would you change for next time?"

That's not showing off. You're stating a fact about your own work, then opening the door to what's next.

And because you asked for the feedback, it feels like a conversation, not a verdict.

When the changes come, treat them as a list of improvements for next time.

Not a review of whether you did well this time.

Those are two different conversations. Your brain will try to merge them. Don't let it.

Write the changes down. Thank them. Move on.

This is why I talk so much about a success wall.

It's a place where you write down what you've achieved, as it happens.

The campaign goes on it.

The email from the happy client goes on it.

The numbers go on it.

Then when your boss skips straight to the changes, you've got evidence to look at. Not just a feeling.

Your confidence stops depending on one person's mood in one meeting.

Next time your boss dives straight into what they'd change, don't go quiet and deflate.

Ask what worked. Or tell them.

Then go home and put it on your success wall.

You knew it went well.

It did.